I was writing an epically dull post on web standards when I noticed that Molly had written about her top three love songs and just had to rant.
Yes, Nick Drake’s “Brighten My Northern Sky” is a great song, but Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight”?!?!?! Eric Clapton??? Eric Clapped-out, more like.
When I was a bar singer in Turkey, I used to charge people one beer for requests, except for a few songs with finger-twisting chord changes (Stairway to Heaven, Bridge Over Troubled Water) that would cost the punter two beers.
There was also a select list of three-beer songs, chosen not because of complex chord structures, but because they’re toe-curlingly shit. I’m talking Rod Stewart’s “I am Sailing”. I’m talking “The Power of Love”. I’m talking two by Eric CrappedOn: “Tears In Heaven” and “Wonderful Tonight”.
It’s not even a hard song to play – in fact, just four chords will do it. You don’t need a great vocal range. What makes it so horrible is the sheer mawkishness of it; the ploddingly uninspired monosyllabic lyrics with their clunky and pedestrianly obvious rhymes (wear/ hair, see/ me, head/ bed).
Plenty of people paid the three-beer fine for “Wunnerfooool Tonighd”, so it’s evidently popular (but then, so are Whitney Houston, Osama Bin Laden and circumcision).
I thought those days were over, but late last year I joined a band and what do we play mid-set, to give the drummer a break? You guessed it. Wonderful To-fucking-night.