Bruce Lawson’s personal site

Well, I play 5-a-side with people from work some lunchtimes, so I obviously need to use the communal changing rooms, shower and so on. Well, either that or be all sweaty and horrible (well, more so than usual) all afternoon.

So I’ll get changed/ showered/ etc as and when it’s appropriate. I don’t feel uneasy about it, but I wouldn’t go as far as your phrasing “comfortable getting your bits out in the presence of co-workers” because it sounds like you’re meaning it’s something that would otherwise happen on a quiet afternoon in your office…

Also, I’m puzzled that you feel the need to state that you shower “in the nude”. I’ve never heard of anyone showering “clothes on”, as it were…

i just started using the public shower at school this year(08) and at first i was nervous about it but i acjusted when i got to know the people i was showering with better and now i just strip to the buff and get it done

Hm. Here in Norway, communal showers are pretty much the norm, and I’m very comfortable with showering in the nude. But I admit that suddenly seeing someone you know (but didn’t expect to be there) is a bit strange – it seems the brain is eager to tell me that “You’ve never seen each other naked before…”

Most of all, however, I think communal showers is a very healthy concept.

Never tried communal showers before, our school had them but no one ever used them. I sit here and think that I would probably be freaked out to shower with other guys in the nuddy, but I reckon if I actually did it, I would probably get “excited” for a second, then I would get over it and just shower like normal.

I have always been athletic at school and since and I have never been afraid of communal showers. Why are guys today so uptight about nudity. We call have the same cocks and balls and yeah some are larger then others but who cares. It is proper hygene to wash after you workout and guys who show up in the showers wearing a bathing suite are screaming out I’m queer and I’m afraid I’ll get a boner if I’m nude in front of other guys. We are all guys and we have all seen boners it’s no big deal. Schools should never have stopped mandatory showers because it is proper hygene and maybe the kids whouldn’t be getting sick at much from all the germs they are putting out by not showering after gym and workouts.

Personally, I love the communal showers. If I get a boner, I don’t care. I enjoy being looked at. I like it when when another guy keeps staring, then gets a boner himself. I also love to walk around with my boner and “accidentally” run into some hot naked stud. Most of them don’t seem to mind.

I’ve been in the military where communal showers are totally normal and frankly I really hate how our society has become so rediculous about this issue. It’s really almost pathological how people have become so afraid of their own nudity. I truly think that there is some kind of link between sexual deviancy and the decline of social acceptance of nudity. Nudity is kind of a primal element of being an animal and deep down we still have these kinds of primal fundamental concepts wired into us. I think it’s necessary to have publically acceptable forms of nudity. Showering with other members of the same sex is not a sexual act. Honestly I think somewhere deep in the subconscious it’s necessary to see other people naked in an honest and non sexual way. It creates a level of humility between people and it actually can make you feel mote comfortable to know whether your body, and yes even the parts of it we cover up most of the time, are normal in comparison with others. I think that a lot of people who think that they are gay are really just feeling a need for the very normal and universal experience of comfortable nudity. By covering ourselves up even from our own gender it creates an unhealthy psychological situation. I don’t think there would be nearly as much anxiety over issues like penis size. In fact I think there would be fewer body image issues in general if people were just a little less self involved. The truth of the matter is that everyone has something about their body that they wish was different somehow. That’s why they go to a gym to begin with. The fact of the matter is that we need to have opportunities to see members of the same sex in an open and healthy manner. That’s why fitness magazines and the like exist. There is a natural component of human behavior that drives us to improve ourselves socially physically and mentally by adopting the good behaviors and traits of those around us. If you never get out of the house and never seek social situations, you’ll never grow socially. The same thing applies with our bodies. Believe it or not, but if you really just let go of your insecurities and just drop the towel so to speak, you’ll notice that others will do the same around you. Then when you see their naked body is just as vulnerable as yours is, you’ll start to notice that they have flaws as well. Once again, believe it or not I think you’ll find that your self esteem will greatly improve. You won’t care that you have flaws because you know others do as well. The same person that you thought was so trim and fit only appears that way because they where a stomach hiding tight shirt under another shirt. The guy with the huge muscles is lacking size in one particular muscle. The guy who talks so much trash while lifting weights or playing basketball has no pubic hair. The point isn’t to gawk or make rude comments. It’s to establish a pecking order so to speak and be able to assess your strengths and weaknesses and know where you stand. At least then you can be honest with yourself. Without a communal locker room type of environment, people become completely insane with their insecurities. Men should be naked around eachother, and so should women be naked around eachother for that matter. It’s perfectly right for people of the same gender to be able to naked and constructively critical of eachother. Not only is it not wrong for people of the same sex to look at eachother naked, it’s a biological need the same way that dating the opposite sex is. By removing the healthy and natural venues for this type of interaction, people turn to false and unhealthy ways of filling this biological need. They turn to watching pornography to get a sense of how their bodies should look which only creates further deep seated insecurities when they see oversized male genitalia and surgically enhanced breasts not to mention the steroid use by men in the movies and tv and bulemic women in magazines. The fact is that yes, the guys walking around in your average locker room are just that– average! Yes the sweaty fat dude and the skeleton thin red headed guy alike. So get rid of your clothes, take a damn shower and feel free to look politely. Yes — that guy smells and so do you but it’s a breathe of fresh air to your self esteem when you get the he’ll over yourself and overcome your self esteem issues because when it really comes down to it, all of that insecurity is really just a sign if immaturity and dare I say it, self centerdness. Just the fact that you think people care so much about you and your body means that somewhere in your mind you think the world is centered around you. They are really just thinking about the bills they gave, their lovelife, their pets at home, etc. Maybe it’s true that there are insecure assholes out there who’d like to insult you but they exist in every environment: work, school, churches, teams, people who share your hobbies. There’s no reason to avoid these situations altogether. Learn to be comfortable with yourself and refuse to be like the people who choose to be assholes. The only reason they are like that is because they have insecurities that they refuse to deal with. So face your insecurities head on and you might just find that you have had some unhealthy coping mechanisms that have hurt other people in some way. In short, if you have those insecurities and you refuse to grow up and deal with them, chances are that you are an asshole to someone and they don’t deserve it. I say drop your underwear to your ankles and walk to the shower with your towel and a smile and give it a try. The embarrasment
dissapears and it’s replaced by a sense of pride and a feeling of maturity. It’s a right of passage. When you know that you are comfortable naked, you’ll feel comfortable in your clothes. So be a fuckin man about it. Or be a woman about it. It’s healthy and natural and it’s been a part of humankind since humankind existed.

Jason, that is about the best, most well-reasoned and mature response to this issue I have ever read.

I think showering at school is inappropriate. Sorry. I think we’re all entitled to a little privacy and bathing is one of the most intimate things we do. When I was in high school I was coerced into taking communal showers for 1 1/2 years as if it was no big deal. Think about the humiliation of having not hit puberty at 15, being morbidly obese, flat-chested, whatever. One dude hadn’t hit puberty by 9th grade. Then the next year, he was hairier than a friggin’ bear, as thick as a carpet all over his body! I mean how embarrassing is that and while you’re in high school at that, the worst time in your life. And no-one would have known except we had to take communal showers in gym class.

That last comment reminds me of the Burqini (Google it).

Also, it doesn’t appear that communal showers are common in Canadian schools. Also also, children are immature.

What a great topic! I’m an ex-soldier and a gay man now in his 40′s. I grew up as an only child so communal showering was only done at school after P.E. Once I joined the Canadian Forces at age 17 there wasn’t much choice about it; we had to shower together. At first I worried that I’d get an inconvenient and possibly life-threatening erection. But I quickly discovered that I had the power to control it by thinking hard (oddly enough) about other things. Within a few weeks I could shower with everyone else without risking being “outed” by my dick.

I don’t speak for every gay man out there, only for myself when I say this –> Guys: Relax! Most of you are NOT worth checking out. It doesn’t even matter if you have a big dick or a great body or both. Fact of the matter is that there are no rules about attractiveness.

The vast majority of us gay guys are very discreet and completely respectful of your privacy. We look like you, we act like you and we walk among you. We’re not flamboyant, we don’t have shrill voices. We can talk about cars, sports, beer and even women with you. And because we grew up with you, we know that you’re probably thinking about pussy and we usually have enough common sense to stay out of your way.

Do we sneak a peak? You bet we do. But don’t get too bent out of shape if by chance you catch us glancing a little too long. Accept it as a compliment and feel free to ignore us. We’re masters at reading facial expressions and your body language. We fully expect to be snubbed. If you’re still feeling uncomfortable, try this: strike up a conversation and get around quickly to talking about your wives or girlfriends. That usually takes the wind out of our sails. We’ll still be all buddy-buddy with you but we know where the line is drawn and we’ll respect it.