On the 2011 census

Yesterday, some results from our once-a-decade survey were published. As ever, the times they are a-changin’, and mad people are a-frothin’.

According to the figures,

In 2011 13 per cent (7.5 million) of usual residents of England and Wales were born outside the UK; in 2001 this was 9 per cent (4.6 million).

What that means isn’t completely clear-cut. My household has 4 people. I was born in Yemen, of British parents on government business. My wife was born in Thailand, as was our daughter (who has dual nationality). Of the four of us, only our son was born in the UK, yet he’s mixed-race. I’m the only one of the four who is “white British”, yet was not born here.

Poland showed by far the largest percentage increase in the top ten countries of birth, with a nine-fold rise over the last decade and following its accession to the EU in 2004.

It’s got to be hard to be a nutty racist these days. What do you do about the Poles, with their polite, hard-working, church-going lifestyle? It’s even hard to spot them in the street.

In fact, the knuckle-draggers should be delighted by the influx of Poles, given that the number of people identifying as christians has decreased from 72% to 59% in ten years, while the number of muslims has increased from 3% to 5%. In the little-Englander worldview, all muslims have dozens of children because they want to take over the world. Luckily, Poles are catholic and therefore have loads of children, too. Better a white catholic UK than a brown muslim UK, eh?

Of course, that’s not how it will play out. The really interesting statistic is the 25% of people who have “no religion”. That doesn’t mean that 25% of the population is rational, of course; many with no religion mutter that they are “spiritual” and believe in reiki, homeopathy, astrology or some other nonsense.

In an increasingly “secular world” different religions gang together to protect themselves. That’s why we see junkets by unelected gay-bashing muslim Tory Sayeeda Warsi to the woman-hating paedo-protecting Vatican which “welcome[d] Lady Warsi’s comments on ‘intolerant secularisation’”:

By asserting that “for centuries, Christianity in Europe has been inspiring, motivating, strengthening and improving our societies”, Warsi echoes Benedict’s claim that religion is an ally of freedom and an enemy of tyranny.

Expect to see dozens of “inter-faith” working groups of strange (but heterosexual) bedfellows spring up in the next decade to lament our godlessness and hector us into allowing them to tell us what to think, who to love, who to marry and where we can do it.

Expect their efforts to fail, and see the “no religion” numbers grow further in 2021.

2 Responses to “ On the 2011 census ”

Comment by Sparrk

It’s a funny thing; I’m first-gen offspring of Irish parents, my wife was born in America (but now has UK citizenship), yet whenever the Daily Mail readers show up they’re always careful to assume my support and reassure my wife that she’s “one of the good ones.” Never is it more clear that immigration is really just a smokescreen for racism.

Comment by Charlie

Always thought there was something shifty about you, Bruce. Back to Yemen, you terrorist!

Here in Jormany, the reaction of the churches to falling numbers and taxpayers (due to an agreement with the Nazis on helping identify the non-christians, the state collects tax for the churches) has paradoxically been to increase their power over nurseries, schools, hospitals and try and enforce conversion through employment contracts which also allow them to pay less than the going rate!