[The stage is bare. A single spotlight snaps on. Into it walks Bruce, in a black turtleneck top]
Are you ready, folks? [Apple WWDC-style whoops and squeaks]
Are you READY folks? [Shouts of “Yeah!” and “Righteous!”]
Do you want your websites to work EVERYWHERE? [people faint with excitement]
Are you ready to have your PARADIGMS SHIFTED? [Not a dry seat in the house now]
Today, we’re introducing a brand-new paradigm-shifting design methodology called…
Logo: “Beard” By iconsmind.com
What is “Anachronistic Beard”?
It’s a revolutionary way of making websites so they look good in iOS 9 with external fonts turned off, work well for Opera Mini’s 250+ million users, and in Chrome, Opera, Firefox, IE, Edge, whether you’re using a computer, a phone, a tablet, a phablet (you’re not, are you?), with or without assistive technology.
How can I leverage these game-changing synergies, going forward?
Glad you asked! Here are the technical details.
Why is it called “Anachronistic Beard”?
A previous version of Anachronistic Beard has been available, built into the very design of the web, for decades. But it was called “Progressive Enhancement”, which is boring, and it didn’t have a logo.
So, encouraged by the success of things like Moustache, it’s been rebranded by a team of expensive Birmingham-based Consumer Insight Engineers. With this new name, those of us who are too old to be hipsters can legitimately claim that we were doing Progressive Enhancement, before it was cool.
Join our revolution, before everyone else hears about it. Happy Bearding!