Bruce Lawson’s personal site

That’s the motto of the French Navy.

(Thanks, Abby.)

Jim O’Donnell points out that the National Archive have done a web site about Victorian prisons, with some blind/partially sighted students, which looks very nice and has sleek code.

Meanwhile, Anne van Kesteren has written a very useful guide that’s an overview of the differences between HTML4 and HTML5.

The Korean film, A Tale of Two Sisters is deliciously creepy, beautifully filmed and elegantly acted. (Isn’t Korean a lovely-sounding language?)

Pat Lauke points out that Jeremy Keith fell into the cheesetrap at @media. If only he’d known about the Tim Berners-Lee Quote-o-matic! quote generator.

There are some people who say that worrying about web standards and accessibility is an indication of much too much time on my hands. I wish. Anyway, people who collect old Teasmades, they’re the ones with too much time … Man, I love England and its eccentrics.

I was shocked to find my James, my six year old, typing “Thomas” into the Youtube search engine and getting user-filmed Thomas snuff movies. Will no-one think of the children?!?!

And, I don’t want to bring this up, but me and your friends have been a bit concerned about you lately. Ask yourself: are you popular?

Friday joke

Some researchers in Paris have discovered that the Hunchback of Notre Dame wasn’t a real hunchback. He was merely a quasi-modo.

Q: Why did Lieutenant Uhura smell bad?
A: Because William Shatner.

Not particularly good, but it is Good Friday:

Jesus walks into a hotel, puts four nails down on the counter and asks “Can you put me up for the night?”

It must be fab to be Julie Howell. Last night, she won a special lifetime achievement award for her work with the RNIB and her efforts to bring digital access to people with disabilities, hot on the heels of the finest accolade a woman could be given: I told her she has a nice arse. Does it get any better than that?

As you’d expect, she kept her usual regal composure and dignity when accepting the award. Congratulations Julie!

Return of the Friday joke

There’s two teenage Liverpudlian girls looking in a jeweller’s window. “That’s the ring I’ll ask for when my boyfriend and I get married”, says one.

Her friend replies, “That’s the one I’d get”.

Suddenly, a Cyclops crashes through the window, and shouts angrily, “Who are you calling a one-eyed get?!”

What’s metal, three feet tall, and stands at the end of your bed taking the piss out of you all night?

A dialysis machine.

A return to proper jokery, after the gutter-level and surreal jokes lately.

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul-singer?
A: Put it in a microwave until its bill withers.

Just when I thought the tone of my blog was resolutely gutter-level, a guest joke from Allan Kent, lowers it further. So it’s not on the homepage, in order to preserve some common decency.
Continue reading Allan’s joke

What’s the difference between a duck?

One of its legs is both the same.

There’s a car full of nuns driving through Transylvania late at night. Suddenty, Dracula swoops down on the car and clings to the windscreen wipers, leering and licking the glass.

“Quick Mother Superior”, shouts a novice, “Show him your cross!”

“Good thinking!”, replies the Mother Superior, who furiously shakes her fist at the Count and shouts “Oi! Vampire! FUCK OFF!”