My old mate and wrox refugee, Pete Fletcher, is an odd one. His latest project is “Sneezecount“, which sees him counting his sneezes, recording the time, date, location, relative strength of the sneeze and what he was doing at the time.
And I thought my Spam letters were pointless…
I’m new to the world of communal showers, because for years I managed to avoid P.E. at school by presenting a forged note from my mum and then slipping over the fence to the local greasy spoon café to play Asteroids and smoke.
But now I’m a member of a gym, and so I find myself regularly in a shower, in the nude, with other men. I often work out with my mate Matt, and have absolutely no inhibitions about being naked in front of a friend of 27 years. Equally, I have no shyness about nakedness in front of a group of complete strangers.
But occasionally there are people from work in the changing rooms. They’re perfectly pleasant chaps who I’ll say a cheery hello to at the coffee machine, but I find myself unexpectedly ill-at-ease being in the buff in front of them.
Legions of grateful ladies will attest to the fact the dimensions of the Bruce Juice Introducer® are nothing to be bashful about, so I find it odd that I should feel this way.
Are you comfortable getting your bits out in the presence of co-workers? Does my discomfort reveal deep psychological trauma—or, even worse, issues? Do tell.
Naturally, my music taste is impeccably eclectic, sophisticated and erudite. My favourite bands are better than your favourite bands in every possible way.
But sometimes, even I get infected with earworms: some ghastly mass-produced crap like The Spice Girls or Take That finds its way into my brain and will not let go. This week, for example, my car CD mix of Burial, Amritakripa, The Pop Group and Natacha Atlas has remained entirely unlistened-to as I guiltily polluted myself with the latest earworm—“About You Now” by The Sugerbabes (for chrissake).
But I’ve cured myself, through the simple remedy of going to YouTube and overdosing on the self-made videos of angst-ridden teenage girls singing it in their bedrooms.
Actually, I still found myself thinking, that last link is pretty good. So I needed a magic bullet. Here it is:
Hey Presto! Earworms are gone.
I was looking at my end-of-year web stats, and have removed my “Links” page as no-one ever looked at it, but reproduce its controversial Lust List™ for posterity.
As you know, I’m a happily married chap, but in response to the literally zero mails I receive asking what kind of woman I find pretty, here’s my current Lust List™:
A South Indian film actress, Jasmine “is a simple and down to earth person. Her choices are also undemanding. Her favorite attire is Half Saree and she loves to look homely“. Phwooooar!
I’m a bit embarrassed by this, given Pui is a Children’s BBC presenter, and played Po in the Teletubbies. But she is a fox. And she once played a lesbian in a crap TV show, but (I have to confess) didn’t look her best.
Björk has loads of talent, is inimitable and oddly sexy - except in this shot where she looks distressingly like Michael Jackson.
Sheila Chandra has an astounding voice, and is gorgeous too.
A willowy West Indian girl from high school. I never had the balls to ask her out, as miscegenation was too shocking a concept for a Worcestershire high school in 1982.
Turns out that a lot of people, when bored at work, type “bum” into Google…
Good mix of professional and personal. And the bum and willy pictures (NSFW).
When I was in Bangkok, I bought a lovely Hello Kitty alarm clock that sings to me in what I assume is probably Chinese (or Japanese).
Anyone know what it’s singing, and what it says when I press the button to stop it?
In the back garden, with Steph and my kids, showing myself to be The Great Duckano:
Sigh. At least all that could happen in my day was someone took a photo of you being a twat which got passed around school.
What kind of so-called “friend” posts videos of you being daft for the whole world to see, eh? Thanks a bunch, Steph.
You wait ages for exciting stories about web accessibility, and then two come at once.
Hot on the heels of yesterday’s announcement about amazon.com reworking their site to be accessible, comes the news that the revised Web Content Accessibility Guidelines (WCAG 2.0) finally became a candidate recommendation today.
The news came as a bit of a surprise to the web accessibility community, as it was rumoured that the last draft received a considerable number of comments that needed addressing before the guidelines could become a recommendation.
The Swedish accessibility expert, Olaf Pirol was appointed by the the WCAG working group to go through them. After a 48-hour stint on the guidelines, checking comments, removing a couple of success criteria, and adding two or three others, Olaf declared WCAG 2.0 good to go.
What’s the difference between a duck?
One of its legs is both the same.
Celine Dion’s cover of AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long was morbidly fascinating, until her partner in crime shouted “C’mon Girlfriend!”
, and Celine replied “Oh yeah!”
in oh-so-rehearsed rock’n'roll ecstasy.
At that point, the primal instinct of self-preservation compelled me to bite off my own ears.
Thanks for sending me that, Jim O’Donnell.
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