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I tried the UK citizenship test and failed, even though I’m am a history buff and a lifelong UK citizen. In my defence, the questions are crap. How do I know when women got the right to divorce, or whether “Methodist” means Church of England?
I propose these as some better questions:
- Which avuncular sports presenter was later found to be consorting with prostitutes and snorting coke? Gary Lineker/ Dickie Davis/ Frank Bough/ Jimmy Hill?
- Do chips come with gravy in Ireland/ North England/ London/ Isle of Man?
- Fill in the blank: Monty Python’s [blank] [blank]
- At a pantomime, what is the correct response to a character saying “Oh yes it is”?
- Which is NOT a genuine Enid Blyton group of fictional child detectives? Famous Five/ Five Findouters/ Six Sleuths/ Secret Seven
- How long is drinking-up time?
- Which of these was NOT a Blue Peter presenter? Konnie Huq/ Sophie Ellis Bextor/ John Noakes/ Peter Purves
- When did England last win the World Cup?
- Which of these was never a member of the Beatles? Paul McCartney/ Pete Best/ George Best/ Stu Sutcliffe
- “Neeps and tatties” means what in Scotland? Turnip and potato/ coats and hats/ neat and tidy/ Did you call my pint a pouff?
- Which series is set in Wetherfield/ Albert Square/ Ambridge?
- Which is welsh: Thomas the Tank Engine/ Ivor the Engine?
- Which comedian had “short fat hairy legs”? Bobby Ball/ Syd Little/ Ernie Wise/ Bernard Manning
Got any to add?
(On a serious note: I’m bloody glad my lovely missus got her citizenship before this silly test came out.)