In the year 2022
We all know that 2022 will be the year that HTML5 will be complete.
However, it’s possible that the completion of the spec might not be the only newsworthy event of that year.
The spiritual teacher, Raphael (author of the famous Spiritual Teachings and Universal Truths) has made many predictions, kindly collected on the Crawford2000 website.
Amongst others, we will see
- The upper atmosphere of the Earth will be set on fire and everyone in the world will see this. It will be set on fire by the U.S. military using their H.A.A.R.P. (High-frequency Active Auroral Research Program) climate control weapon.
- Four heads of state will die within a week of each other and within one year of these deaths WWIII will start.
- Anyone caught within 50 miles of a hydrogen bomb detonation will suffer damage to their soul, even to the point of the total destruction of their soul, which would release their spirit in energy form back to God, and they would cease to exist as individual spirits.
- Extraterrestrials will land and assist the survivors of WWIII in the establishment and construction of a new civilization based on God’s Commandments and Spiritual Principles.
(hat tip to superdeluxesam)
In addition to all these calamities, Kurt Cagle predicts that if you use boolean attributes in your HTML5 (so selected instead of selected="selected" for example) you will
require special HTML processors to handle them. This makes them a pain to store in XML databases (you have to store them in text, losing a lot of the indexing goodness that comes with having XPath compliant XML), a pain to parse, a pain to transform…
We’ll be back to the days of the late HTML 3 spec, where web designers despaired of having their web pages act even remotely consistently between browsers, where coders will continue to learn bad habits that not only create more headaches for other coders but also contribute to the overall cost of products.
The future ain’t bright, chums.
Might as well give up now. I’m off to smoke heroin and take up alcoholism.
8 Responses to “ In the year 2022 ”
…if man is still alive…
I should note that it is hardly surprising that storing HTML5 in an XML database is awkward, since it’s NOT XML.
In the same way, storing XML in a SQL database is hard, storing rows and columns in an object database is hard, and storing the Eiffel Tower in my wallet doesn’t work properly either.
There is no problem with transforming or indexing or parsing or storing HTML5 if you use HTML5 tools, which is perfectly possible if the XML worms haven’t eaten into your brain.
I predict we’ll be having a similar debate about the state of HTML 6, or maybe even 7.
It gets worse; according to the Oracle (well, Wikipedia) 2022 is both the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, and the year we’ll be eating Soylent Green. And Australia may host something called the World Cup.
This assumes we will survive past the year 2012…. or the release of IE 9, whichever comes first.
Brad
Bruce Lawson, the Nostradamus of HTML 5… 😉
And here I thought the world was ending in 2012. One can only hope.
Totally agree about the boolean attributes; I thought we’d moved away from that. Still, the whole thing is moot anyway, since IE 6 will still hold 40% of the market from the corporates who refuse to upgrade.